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Expat Orientation Exam

1. When stopped by a policeman in Jakarta traffic you need:

a. Driver's license
b. Registration
c. Rp 10,000 (maybe more)
d. All of the above

2. The white lines on the road are for:

a. Guiding traffic in separate single file lanes
b. Maximizing lanes of traffic in order to minimize the traffic flow
c. A public works program in support of the paint and coating industry
d. No one really knows

3. You see many books copied in Jakarta using photocopy machines because:

a. The copyright laws, like many things, don't work 6 degrees below the equator
b. Paper is cheap
c. Expats are cheap

4. When going to the medical center you need to:

a. Know what is wrong as it's your job to train the staff (tech transfer)
b. Have your affairs in order and next of kin notified
c. a. above as well as having already selected the three best alternative treatments and outcomes (again tech transfer) Note - Death is clinically ok but not a positive training aid.
d. Be sure there is nothing wrong with you and see if they catch it.

5. A diagnosis and treatment from the Jamu Lady is:

a. Better than the medical center
b. Cheaper than the medical center
c. Quicker than the medical center
d. All of the above

6. Signals of a life threatening situation:

a. Unconscious victim
b. No respiration rate
c. A doctor's diagnosis
d. All of the above

7. The correct frequency for cleaning your air conditioner's filters is:

a. Once a week
b. Once a month
c. Once a year
d. At the next power outage

8. How many competent travel agents are there in Jakarta?

a. One
b. The ones your company doesn't hire
c. Not the one you just used
d. The very next one you'll try
e. You

9. You have just entered the line for immigration at Soekarno-Hatta airport prior to leaving the country and you notice the western man at the front is frowning and unfolding Rp 10,000 notes from his wallet. He is:

a. Trying to get the agent to get him an ambulance back to the hospital because he is very ill
b. Mistakenly looking for his drivers license to prove his identity
c. Less than 30 minutes before flight departure when passage by immigration is usually free. (PASS) Passport Assessment Service and Selection
d. Realizing that giving at the office does not count for the (BRIB) Brotherhood of Retired Immigration Bandits fund

10. When hiring your driver, you need to carefully select one who has:

a. No accidents on his record
b. No felonies on his record
c. Close relatives in Polisi Lalu Lintas (traffic police)
d. Certificate from Evil Knievel's school of performance driving

11. Overheard at the airport by a newly arrived expat with funny looking shoes and a small dog:

a. Toto, I don't think this is Kansas . . .
b. Toto, this is NOT Kansas!
c. Toto, we are going back to Kansas NOW!

All said in good humor, we are glad we're here and having a great time in Jakarta! Guess what, there are no correct/incorrect answers!

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