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A Dog's Life

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"I'm surrounded by complete dimwits!" I yelled full with frustration. All of my dogs looked at me. They frowned and put the most annoying and innocent look on their faces.

" What did we do wrong? We thought you hated that cat," growled Bob, my rottweiller. He is the leader of the pack. The others nod in agreement.

" Yes, so she stole some sausages. But it doesn't mean that you can mentally abuse her just like that. Show some dignity, will you!"

I could see my maids were peeking behind the fence. They must have thought that I was in a Dr. Do Little mood again. That's good. At least that means they would stay away from me for the rest of the day.

I looked up at the top of my mango tree. The stray cat my dogs were chasing had transformed into a strange fluffy white ball. I shooed my dogs inside the house. They were calm for seconds until the cat, with her tongue stuck out, pressed her face against my glass door.

That was just one of a million things my dogs do every day that drive me insane. Some people ask me why I put up with them. My dogs are quite a handful. Beside the rottweiller, I have a doberman, a bullmastiff and a boxer living in my house. They have almost as many rights in my house as me except that they have to sleep on the floor. But basically we share the same food, bedroom, television plus its remote control and the same swimming pool.

When I dine out, I always make sure they have more than enough food in their bowls before I leave. Their usual diet consists of low fat mutton flavored biscuits. But, let me tell you, Bob can smell a doggy bag from a better restaurant from miles away, long before I drive into our driveway. As soon as he smells it, he has this quirky habit of sticking his paw down his throat to make himself throw up. Who would want to have a stomach full of dry biscuits if you can eat stacks of finger licking good spare ribs?

My dogs are very well treated, I would say. But talking about spoiled dogs; let me tell you what Sue, a Chinese-Indonesian friend of mine has done to her cute Pekinese dog. A couple weeks ago, she went to an eye hospital to have her eyelids trimmed, to make her eyes look bigger. To see things better, she said when I asked her why. She was so satisfied with the result; she took her dog to have the same surgery!

I really believe that dogs are women's best friends. They are very faithful, protective and they don't leave you to play golf every weekend. And guess what; they can help women fall pregnant as well.

According to some research I read from 'DOGUE' magazine, adopting a puppy can boost the motherly hormones in your system. Plus it's also good preparation, training for the coming two-legged newborn. That includes nappy changing, toilet training, feeding and a lot of patience.

As people say, one year of dog's life is equal to seven years of man's life. Because they age so quickly according to our calculations, we actually can learn a lot from them. For example, we can understand if a three-month-old dog cannot use a toilet. We would expect the same from a two-year-old baby, wouldn't we? But when dogs reach three years, they will settle down and focus more in looking after the family. Instead of acting like children, playing tough and trying to pick a fight with everybody over small things. Unless if they are not very well bred.

The story of a dog's life is not always so cheerful; there is a sad side too. I am sure you all are familiar with the stories about cuddly puppies in a pet shop's display window. Some children fall in love as soon as they see these just-weaned lovable moving toys. Tired of their nagging children, the parents decide to please them and bring the pups home. Now, what would two-year-old children know about the responsibility of raising a puppy? The children will usually have fun with it for a while, before they get bored and leave the attention-craving creature locked up in the back yard. Still, months later the parents make a lot of complaints about their hyperactive, destructive dogs. Wait a minute, nobody ever said that they are disposable toys. They are not something that you can just throw away or store in a backyard shed once they are no longer cute and cuddly, are they?

I know one very wealthy woman who owns an imported Great Dane. She took me to her house one day. At the front of her mansion, she showed me where she kept her dog. The dog, you know how big an adult Great Dane is, was locked in a cage. The size of the cage was barely enough for the poor animal to turn around. Gees, couldn't she get a hamster instead?

Treated well or poorly, dogs always return unconditional love to their owners. Isn't it what everybody is looking for?

Anyway, one day I came home from work and found my dogs staring at their bowl. They didn't want to touch the meatballs I had cooked earlier.

"Too much salt," Bob said.

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